I received a message this week from one of our members in the Flat & Fabulous closed group. She asked me to share this with her fellow sisters as she wanted to relay this important message but wanted to do so anonymously. As I read what she had to say, I had tears rolling down my face and joy in my heart. I responded by asking permission to share here because I know how many of our fellow sisters who deal with mastectomy, flat or not, struggle with this. Here is the message I received:
For all of you girls thinking about and maybe feeling hopeless about finding love after mastectomy, or after mastectomy and divorce or break up: good men/life partners are out there, and if you love yourself first, they will find you.
I unexpectedly met someone who became a very good friend, who not only helped me through the aftermath of my mastectomy, but the aftermath of my divorce (as my friend). The very first time we talked, I had been completely open about having had cancer, that I was flat and that I was just starting the process of divorce. I was not looking for anything romantic at the time and neither was he. I was just trying to survive my personal hell. I had asked him at that first meeting, point blank, as a guy, could he handle it if the woman he was interested in had no breasts? He told me that if it came down to it in an intimate relationship, and I had found the right person, it wouldn't matter.
From that day forward, he has been there as my friend, supporting me as a Flat & Fabulous woman. He has been there during my personal triumphs and dark moments, pulling me through.
My divorce became final and we were still sitting in the friend zone for quite some time. Well, things have finally moved forward and, let me tell you, it was not scary, well a little...but to finally have your best friend gaze into your eyes and tell you, "God, you're so beautiful!" And then nuzzle his face into your chest and shower your scars with tender kisses and caresses and tell you how much he loves you... Well, it doesn't get much better than that! And then to have him turn around and say, "That wasn't scary was it? I don't know what you were worried about, I like it!" (Meaning my scars...)
The other night he reminded me of that first conversation, he said, "Remember that first time we talked and you asked me if it would matter if you had breasts or not- if you met someone? Well, it doesn't matter. " I said, "I don't think you realize what an extraordinary gift you have been to me, you are my home!" Then, with tears in both of our eyes, he said, "I'm glad you're home!"
They're out there girls, don't give up, just love yourself first... I sent this to Sara to post because I want to remain anonymous, but if you see me, you'll probably recognize me by my shit eating grin!!!